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Loose Pages

by Rebecca Zimmerman

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1.
Are you ready for it? ‘Cause I’m taking off Are you ready for it? Ready to be rid of all I’ve lost And I have never seen a place of such peace And I will never let America domesticate me Ooh… Ahh... Are you ready for it? Well you better fasten your seatbelt There will be turbulence ‘Cause the old days are gone And I have never been so happy to be so far away ‘Cause I’ve got a new home I got a new home I’ve got a brand new home (Chorus) And here I sing with the birds And here I don’t get lost in your words And here I thrive, and here I ride And here I find myself again Mmm… I don’t think you’re ready for it To sit back and watch me prosper You weren’t ready for it For all I had to offer And now I’m taking off I’m taking off without you You can just sit back darling, And watch me rise even more above you Ooh…Ahh... I’m ready for it A taste of independence Oh I’m ready for this To explore all my senses And I have felt displaced before So I guess that evens out our scores But now I’m taking off I’m taking off And I’m ready
2.
Started off in the woods waiting for the bloom. Sitting on a tree stump wishing I could instead be on you. Feeling dumb around you, like I have nothing to say of substance. Convincing myself I should immediately stop this. Got to a point I expected nothing to happen- Noticing you as so much more placid. But that Irish air and the chemicals in your bloodstream Led to liquid confidence A passion hidden by shyness. Created an organic move of divineness. Inspiring me to externalize myself. To depart with the affliction of which I have dealt. I am finally flowing, Drifting, Onto something new. The innocence in confirming what we had already cognized, Composed a desire over which I no longer agonize. Feeling quite satisfied, Caught by a push of persuasion.
3.
I wish I could speak my mind as well as I can write. Especially when I have an active mind that keeps me up at night. I need to create, to formulate. I need to serve the purpose. I am here for one reason; For reflection, not your treason. The humans are getting in the way, too caught up in interactions. Forgetting the point, the purpose. I will keep my distance. I am confident in me, Though you've made me feel quite the folly. Dismissed as overly ambitious, And able to accomplish nothing. Serving no purpose. Was the journey worth this? I will not be discouraged. You can sit back and watch me strike. Up for the challenge of proving you wrong. Every day and every night that I'm here, I'm gonna keep writing. I won't destroy my passion, For your lack of muse. I need to fulfill this, For the rhythm of my soul. I need to serve the purpose. So I will serve my purpose. I’ll do what I came here to do.
4.
Here we go, into the unknown. Where we can get lost and risk A hit from their metal machines. Where the nettle can pierce and sting me. Just might end up in a bull’s pen, ‘Cause barriers don’t exist in my head. Hopping fences ‘cause it’s all about the climb baby. After, we’ll drink some mountain top wine and maybe Feel a fleeting warmness in our chests. On a mission with no care for the rest. (Chorus) Scream it from the top I’m alive, alive, oh (x3) No trails, just inclines and thorns And all the signs saying ‘you’ve been warned’ There’s nothing like uncertainty To motivate me to proceed I can manipulate my mind’s scheme I’m aching, I’m itching, but I am persistent (x3) The universe- She gives and she takes, But everything falls into place. The universe- She ignores, but she perceives, And sometimes even grants wishes for me. Shockingly joyful, a hope and a longing- I’m done with these fears, ‘cause nature is calling. (x2)
5.
Limestone(d) 05:34
I can’t have fun with this When I am on pursuit to find something genuine I am just not cool enough for this ‘Cause I get too emotionally invested And I am sorry I even asked you this Let’s not get distracted You said I am the one you can trust But you just want me to satisfy your lust You don’t know I’m beyond that and jaded Don’t expect to be reciprocated (Chorus) It’s not easy having a heart of gold And it’s not easy just letting things unfold It’s not easy hoping things work out When I have nothing left to talk about ~whistle break~ Well I swear I was trying to write about other things But please don’t think this song is for you, ‘cause it’s for me I don’t miss him, but I sure do miss being in love And you don’t even know what that’s made out of Seemed you just wanted me temporarily But now you tell me you want security Well I think you are very funny I’ll humor you too, but don’t misjudge me.
6.
There’s tension everywhere Even four thousand miles away (or wherever the fuck I am) You know how to make me feel too much empathy in my chest I feel everything in my chest I have accepted these loose pages When at first they were the bane of my existence I’m gonna keep doing me I choose to be alone, without company It feels so good to be as loose as these pages (Chorus) I give you permission to judge me You’re all envious of my mind’s clarity I’d hate to admit you’ve affected me So please, don’t think of me Don’t think of me fondly I’ve been made to feel insignificant So to my face, please don’t pretend Don’t shrug and glare at me I won’t speak my mind so easily Can’t figure out who’s worthwhile So from your memory, I wish to be exiled I want back under my rock to forget about all of you But instead I’ll be inspired by the view By all this beauty and boldness (These words aren’t mine, but I’ll take credit) I’ll watch waves of transformation come on through (Back to chorus) For the sake of my sanity, Oh please don’t think of me Don’t think of me fondly ‘Cause I haven’t reached that point with you just yet Still feel a whole lot of resentment Maybe one day I’ll get passed this But until then… Don’t think of me fondly.
7.
Almost forgot why I came here Almost completely lost myself But now I’m reeling myself back in I came here with a goal and a passion I got this Tiger’s Eye around my neck And some natural dopamine and serotonin Music flowing out of me constantly and effortlessly I think I’m going places Said I’m going places. (Chorus) This song’s about my happiness ‘Cause I’m allowed to be a little selfish This song is me combatting your negativity Despite everything, I have overcome. (x2) Moving on now, I am healing And I’m getting stronger every day Don’t know how exactly you’re perceiving But your cognitive dissonance won’t get in my way Get out of my way. I said, you’re out of my way. On the right track Incoming train It’s me bitch (x2) Despite everything, Here I stand, And I’ve overcome.
8.
Stigmatized, but breaking the stereotypes There is beauty in having experienced, Even if only for a limited time Flowers now grow where you lie Your energy contributes to the beauty of life The sweetest soul Time doesn’t heal all, it’s not tangible What heals is the mind and perspective And an understanding comprehension I could preach to you about life and death About how I’ve learned to value all of it But I am not so poetic I am a failed human But I have forgiven myself, I have forgiven myself ~Interlude~ How beautiful to put it all into words How pleasing for the words to not do it justice These words don’t do you justice How divine to have tried to save you again To connect with a gentle friend and Bonds are not broken by death Bonds are not broken by death. ~Interlude~ Stigmatized, but breaking the stereotypes There is beauty in having experienced, Even if only for a limited time.
9.
(Chorus) Ayo, they told me I’m running out of time so Gotta make these words quicker, gotta make them flow Gotta burn myself out, gotta do it for the show Am I at peace yet? I feel like I’m not quite done yet Got a list of scenarios to sing about But they said time is running out I’m gonna be proud And I’ll preach it loud Might as well stand here naked Letting you in, ridiculed and forsaken I wanted to expand my vocabulary But I took off with too much velocity Perpetuating discipline, Why the fuck did I give in? (Back to chorus) I’m not at peace yet ‘Cause I still feel resentment Wish I could let it go Before I say I’m healing at this show I am not proud ‘Cause you put me down Implied it’s not about the healing process, It’s about pleasing the audience Well I disagree, If I’m allowed to disagree This isn’t the way things should be It doesn’t all have to have a meaning (Back to chorus) I’m not at peace yet ‘Cause I’m not done yet (x2)
10.
What a wild ride it has been. I taste the bitterest sweetness on my palette. I did what I came here to do, And it is done. Ready for all that is to come. Bring it on, Universe. I may not be fully healed, But, I have found peace

credits

released March 29, 2019

goodhowareyou records, Philadelphia PA

Recorded and mixed by Matty Klauser (goodhowareyou records)
at Tralfamadore in South Philadelphia
Mastered by Elaine Rasnake
Album cover design by Sardis Disla
Music and lyrics written in the West of Ireland by Rebecca Zimmerman

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Rebecca Zimmerman Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Rebecca Zimmerman (Philadelphia, PA) blends elements of rock, folk, and blues to produce a style that is genuinely raw.

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